Skulduggery Pleasant: The Nightmare of the Streets
by skeletonflight
Summary: One-shot. Valduggery. Set in the future. Skulduggery and Valkyrie have been tracking an evil demon called an Incubus for months now, and they finally manage to track it down. Will they be able to kill it? Or will they fall victim to its horrors?


They squatted behind the bush, watching as the creature slowly walked down the street. It was hunched over and naked. Valkyrie noted how similar it looked to a vampire at night. She shuddered against the wind, glaring at Skulduggery. He didn't have any skin to be cooled, not that it would matter. Her clothes were whipping across her body in the wind, but Skulduggery was far too dignified to have his suit messed up. She could tell he was manipulating the air to be still around him, his tie lay flat and had cocked at just the right angle against his white skull.

The neighborhood was empty, evacuated for "extreme bug extermination". Only one house was occupied, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie watched it closely. The monster walked carefully, hunched over and ugly. It stopped, sniffing the air. Thankfully, the two detectives weren't where the wind would give away their position.

"So what is that thing exactly?" Valkyrie whispered, holding her hair out of her face.

"I told you yesterday." Skulduggery replied, his eyeless skull staring at her. She shrugged.

"I forgot. I was distracted."

"Because Dexter Vex was in the room." He said, almost sounding offended that her attention was directed somewhere other than him.

"Your point being?" Skulduggery sighed and turned his attention back to the creature.

"That right there, Valkyrie, is an Incubus. Dreadful creatures, almost as bad as vampires." She scowled, trying to push thoughts of Caelen out of her head. Just like Skulduggery to bring him up. Cow. "They break into houses and rape the women, and sometimes men."

"I thought I remember you saying that they didn't like attacking men?"

"Ah, so you do remember something. They prefer women, but if needed they won't hesitate to attack a man. They have a female counterpart, called a succubus. They attack men mostly."

"Why don't we just attack him now?"

"We don't have cause. We haven't actually _seen_ him attack anyone."

"Well, I think we're about to." She watched as the Incubus opened its skinny, skin colored wings stretched out from its back. It flapped a few times, building up momentum before slowly gliding up to the window. It was cracked slightly, and the monster opened it up the rest of the way without a sound. Skulduggery took off toward the house, his feet soundlessly stepping across the road. Valkyrie followed suit, trying not to make any noises. She wasn't nearly as graceful as he was, no matter how many times he tries to teach her how to remain quiet.

She caught up to him, and he wrapped an arm around her waist. Valkyrie relished in the moment, loving the way he felt against her despite the fact he was nothing but bone. He slowly lifted them off the ground, stepping into the empty room. The door was open, the Incubus had gone in search for its pray. The footsteps it made echoed throughout the house. It didn't know it wasn't alone. They quickly made it down the stairs, checking each bedroom to make sure there weren't any surprises. The footsteps stopped, and the two of them made their way into the last remaining bedroom. The Incubus was leaning over a blonde woman, lying in the bed. She shifted slightly, but her eyes remained closed.

It began to open its mouth, the jaw becoming unhinged. Skulduggery whipped out his gun, not bothering with stealth any longer.

"One more move, and you're dead." He said, the gun pointed straight for its head. It slowly turned around, its jaw working to form back correctly into its skull. Once it completely faced the two, the woman in the bed sat up, a sword swinging from under the sheets. The metal glinted in the dim light, and the Incubus screeched as the blade skimmed across its back.

Valkyrie watched as it stumbled forward, jagged fingernails clawing at the wound. Tanith Low slid off the bed, circling so that she blocked the locked window on the other side of the room. It growled, and then lunged for Valkyrie. She shot out a fist, slamming it into its jaw. Something cracked, and blood trickled down its neck.

"You tricked me!" It spoke, its voice not dissimilar to how Spring-heeled Jacks was. Valkyrie struggled to keep her face a mask of seriousness. For something so tough and scary looking, it sure did have a sissy voice. Valkyrie saw Taniths mouth twitch from behind it, and that opened the flood gates. Both girls started to laugh, clutching their stomachs. Skulduggery and the Incubus just froze, standing there and staring at the guffawing women.

"I don't understand," it said, which just caused them to fall into even harder giggles. Skulduggery let out a deep sigh, rubbing his forehead.

"I apologize, they do this all the time." He said, shrugging.

"They laugh at their enemies?" Tears began to roll down both girls cheeks, and Tanith had fallen to the ground.

"Stop! Stop—I can't!" She gasped, trying to breathe. It huffed, then growled. The two girls sobered up, and it lunged for Valkyrie again. A gunshot rang out, and a bullet from Skullduggery's pistol embedded itself into its chest. Blood spurted out, and it dropped to the ground, its knees slamming into the carpet. It finally fell over, and Valkyrie wiped tears from her eyes.

"Well, now that _that_ is over with…" Skulduggery trailed off and glared at the two girls. Valkyrie grinned sheepishly at him, and watched his resolve crumble. He turned on his heel and walked out, and Tanith shoved Valkyrie lightly.

"You have him wrapped around your little finger." She grumbled. Valkyrie smiled softly and trailed after her lover.

"I know."


End file.
